Nigri Felis

This time of the year is perfect to do a little summing all good and bad things up that happened over last year. I will focus on positives more because I am pretty happy about 2015. It started a bit dramatic but turned out to be quite great (:  I found love.  I realized if you want to change the world you have to start with yourself.  I became more organized. I let go of people who had bad influence on me.  I said goodbye for the last time to my beloved dog. I managed to overcome this crisis in my life. I gave home to a new puppy. 2015 is coming to an end while 2016 is awaiting. It is time for resolutions. I will not write mine because my list is not finished yet. Over years I have read a lot of rules/advices how to make resolutions. And here are some I like the most.  Write everything. This is stage one. Write down every single resolution or idea that comes to your mind. I like to write down what I want to achive in general. It takes me few days to do tha

It is about Christmas. Therefore more people are rushing somewhere, buying last minute gifts and forgeting to be polite or smile.  Few days ago I was having a problem with picking a mug. All those which were on a shelf had little damage. So I approached shop assistant, with gentle smile on my face, and asked for help. I couldn't believe what I heard. She almost screamed at me. I was told to look better on shelf and all mugs came a little broken. How should I know this? But in her voice I could feel I should have known. I thought maybe she's having a bad hair day. But after few minutes she was laughing, smiling and helping other woman. What was the difference? She seemed older than me. Treating clients differently because of their age is ridicilous. I look younger than actally I am (many people keep telling me that). But all young people are future costumers and so am I. So if they (shop assistants) treat me bad I will not come back to their store. What's more, I wi

Recently, I've realized something that made my life less stressful. It was only two sentences: Time is for you.  You are not for time. These two sentences hit me when I was giving up my second degree course. Of course, there were other reasons why I did this. But time was one of it. First of all, I didn't have time to study. And secondly, I realized I can move this course in time.  These sentences made me go through it all a lot easier. I didn't feel guilty or disappointed with myself. It was not my life failure, because I don't have to do everything at once. I can easily finish my first course of studies. And after that I can start a new one. I don't have to resign from anything. I don't have to hurry.  Time is for you.   A couple days ago I was reading a book. A very boring book. Someone would ask why? Last year I found a list of books you have to read before you die. So I had been reading books from this list since then. Some of them w

No sound can be heard in the woods. Full moon. It's dark like in a tomb though. It feels like the world is expecting something great this night. Excitement mixed with fear. You never know if the new is good or evil.  But here I am. Standing on top of a big black hole. Waiting for something but not really knowing how long it will last. Pretending everything's fine.  I know exactly what I should do but something keeps me standing still. I do realize where I'm going isn't probably an easy way out. If any.  I look up at the stars. They're shining so bright. Tonight the world is perfect. I look back down again. Darkness. I tell myself I shouldn't be that scared. I've been living with darkness inside me for years. So why I hesitate now? I take a deep breath and jump. Soon I see no moon, no stars, nothing. I am just falling. Like Alice. To be honest I'd rather be jumping into the rabbit's hole.